Damian Lillard and the Search for Respect

Craig Mitchelldyer / USA Today

Craig Mitchelldyer / USA Today

I try to stay up on all things basketball, but this year, the NBA All-Star Game blew right by me as I was focused on our own season.  I heard about the outrageous score and was disappointed I missed seeing Klay Thompson beat out Steph Curry in the 3 Point Shootout, but for the most part I didn’t keep up.  I didn’t even know who played in the game, other than Kobe Bryant making his final appearance.  So when I was discussing with one of our players about the game Portland’s Damian Lillard had against Golden State last Friday, I was shocked to hear that once again, he hadn’t been selected as an All-Star.  I knew something had to be behind the 51-point bomb he dropped on the Warriors and his subsequent run of 30-point games this week.  As it turns out, Lillard felt disrespected, again.  Last year he had this to say, despite being a late-addition for the game:

“I am not one of those guys that says ‘I should be in over this guy or that guy’ because I’m not a hater.  I got respect for each guy that made the roster and I think they deserve to.  But at the same time I feel really disrespected.  That’s honestly how I feel.  I’m definitely going to take it personal.  I said I’d be pissed off about it, and I am.”

hqdefaultIn my opinion, his assessment is totally accurate and by all accounts, Lillard is a stand-up guy who the NBA should be proud to have in its line-up. This season, Lillard is one of only three players to be in the top ten of the league in both scoring and assists, but it’s hard to suggest who he should have replaced on the West team – Curry, Thompson, Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, or James Harden?  So, Lillard is now taking it out on opponents and it’s a reminder to all of us how much our world is driven by “respect” and our unceasing quest to gain respect or what most of us are looking for, significance.

BASKETBALL – Respect for Lillard

It may not count with Lillard, but I respect his game.  In today’s NBA, the ball screen is king and I consider Lillard and Steph Curry to be the two best at creating off it.  BBall Breakdown did a terrific job of comparing the two scoring masters in their match-up last Friday:

As I coach, I’m not going to disrespect Lillard.  I love his game and I want the point guards on our team to learn from him, and from Curry – but I also realize that Damian is caught up chasing his significance at the highest levels of basketball and is no different from the rest of us who do the same things in our careers and our personal lives.  We live in a world where respect from other people is everything, but the quest for respect is also the greatest source of conflict in our world.

LIFE – Confession Time

51-FijsrD1LHow much of the conflict and negativity in your life comes from the need to be respected – to know that others value you and think that you’re important? It’s not just Damian Lillard who wants respect.  It’s all of us.  Our country wants to be respected as the only true super power, presidential candidates are using every trick they can to gain the respect of voters, and most of us spend our working lives craving the respect we deserve from bosses, colleagues, and competitors.  Our quest for respect is a fundamental drive, even in our relationships with family and friends.  As a dad, I fight the battle of not just showing my kids that I love them, but also knowing that they respect me. It’s self-centered and self-serving, but it dominates my thinking.  I’m not proud of that.  I want my kids to value me.  I want my players to value me and too often, I want other people to notice.  Fortunately, I’m reminded each day that no matter how much I chase respect and significance, it means nothing toward my eternity.  And at just the right time in my life, Robert McGee’s book, The Search for Significance, helped me see that.

Last night, our team was upset in our conference tournament to bring our season to an abrupt end. While dealing with a final loss is always difficult, I find it more difficult to know that I won’t get to work with our seven seniors who will be moving on and I won’t have a daily opportunity to remind them that their true significance does not come from the respect they gain or lose on the basketball court.  They will find so much more happiness and contentment in trusting that their basketball experience is just one part of who they are and who they were made to be – just like Damian Lillard and just like me.

FAITH – True Respect

True and lasting respect can never be found in our accomplishments – on the court, in the office, or with our families.  It doesn’t come from all-star selections or championships or records.  It doesn’t come from a logo on our shirt or the size of our house.  It doesn’t come from how entertaining we are when we’re out with friends.  It can’t be found in sex or any other pursuit of pleasure.  True respect and true significance comes from knowing that God walks with us, sets us apart, and then leads us in serving and loving other people.

When God used Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and into the land that He had promised to them, Moses worried that God’s people would be disrespected and asked:

 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

Moses is like most of us.  We forget that God goes with us.  Significance and true respect from others comes when God walks with us and gives meaning to our lives:

 And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” (Exodus 33:16-17)

Our God, the one who created us and loves us so deeply that he gave up his Son to pay for our sins, goes with us.  And that makes us significant!


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